Overcoming Adderall Addiction & Thriving Naturally with ADHD
EPISODE: 51 | DATE: July 15, 2021
“I think that’s super important to teach our children to be present and feel their feelings whether they are big or small. It’s ok to feel so overwhelmed and it’s normal to be overstimulated.”
As a photographer you’ve worked with some major brands like Vogue and Elle and Forbes. Can you tell us about that work and how it morphed into what you’re doing today?
- I’m from Memphis, Tennessee and got my undergrad in photography and moved to New York to get my masters in fashion photography at the School of Visual Arts.
- I was there for about 8 years, shooting for a lot of top brands and really pursuing my dreams and working really hard in a fast paced lifestyle of New York.
- In New York it’s non-stop overworking to the point of fatigue and over exhaustion and after a while the use of adderall – which I’d been on since I was 7 years old – started to really affect my life.
- It began to cause depression, anxiety and fatigue, gut health issues, a lot of other things.
- I was using it and abusing it to basically be a rockstar and get everything done and be that superhuman.
- Because it’s not possible to do all of the things all of the time perfectly without the little help of something else.
- I was an accidental addict in a sense because I thought that I needed this to function.
- I was put on it at a young age for my ADHD.
- But I ended up in the hospital for the third time, really not knowing what was going on with me. I had really bad gut health issues.
- I thought my appendix was bursting. I really just didn’t know what was going on.
- I thought, “I’m either going to have to give up this drug or I’m going to die because it’s killing me.”
- And also I knew I could never be a mom while taking it.
- I knew growing up that one day I was going to have to get off this medication because it’s a stimulant. It works with your norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin – and it is an amphetamine.
- I wanted to get off the drug so I went to google to figure out how to get off them.
- Unfortunately there was nothing there.
- I had been on this for 23 years and I was terrified. I didn’t know what I was going to do.
- I eventually did figure out how to get off it, which we’ll talk about today, and since then, I have wanted to share my story to help others do it too.
- I am a coach and I am writing a book about it called Accidental ADDict.
- I want others to know that it’s possible to live without this drug and that it is possible to function in areas of your life without anxiety, depression and a constant need to be perfect.
- I am still a photographer but I really feel called to tell this story so that others feel less alone.
- I’ve met so many people online through telling my story and helped them overcome their addictions and it’s been a beautiful time in my life realizing that I’m enough without adderall and helping others know they are also enough with it.
You said, “I knew I was going to have to get off the drug in order to have children.” Did you know that because the doctors told you that?
- Some moms still stay on it, though it’s not recommended by any doctor because it’s an amphetamine.
- It can affect the child in utero.
- But I know some people who still choose to wean down to the smallest dosage.
- I just knew that it wasn’t something I wanted to be on while pregnant.
When they diagnosed you, do you remember if they said you should only be on it for a certain amount of time? And what is ADHD?
- They just told me I needed to be on it for the rest of my life.
- They told me I needed this to function, to do anything in school, to be able to calm my mind, to be able to be “normal.”
- The doctors never really explained what ADHD was.
- They just told me that I had ADHD and I thought that just meant I was hyperactive.
- So I never really questioned what ADHD is. I just knew I needed to take these meds.
- I didn’t realize that attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is really about your mind that is hyperactive.
- That looks like a lot of anxiety. And you hyper focus on everything all at once. You don’t not focus. You focus too much. Where it becomes overwhelming and you’re very stimulated by a lot of other people.
- You are empathic to the surroundings around you. I would pick up on everyone from everyone around me. And I didn’t understand as a child so I would act out. I would have temper tantrums. That energy around me was too much.
- Now I have coping mechanisms and ways to navigate that.
- But as a young child, you’re given sugary cereals in the morning or you’re not given nutritious meals or recess is taken away from you. You’re given gluten and things that can cause foggy headedness.
- There are a lot of things that weren’t addressed first. I feel like that is what was the most problematic.
- I did come from a privileged home. And I think there are situations where a kid might have to keep going back to trauma at home. And there may not be another way of dealing with their behavioral issues because there is no safe space.
- So I don’t know that medication is never the answer. But it was definitely not the answer for me. Especially adderall specifically.
It seems like more and more for kids to be diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall. Is ritalin the same?
- They are very similar. Both amphetamines.
If a doctor were to diagnose your son when he’s 7 with ADHD and want to put him on adderall, what would your plan of action be first?
- I would start with food.
- I think it’s really important to do an elimination diet.
- It’s been proven that elimination diets for those with ADHD can reduce the symptoms significantly.
- I did a reset from Tandy Gutierrez, a woman who fixed her gut and alleviated symptoms of 3 autoimmune disorders.
- Tandy’s reset really helped me realize what foods triggered my ADHD and what didn’t.
- For me gluten was a big trigger.
- And a lot of sugary foods. You get that high and then drop off at the end of the day.
- For those with ADHD it can cause that foggy head and inability to maintain the energy needed to focus in school.
- Also there are certain vitamins that are depleted in those with ADHD: vitamin B, magnesium.
- So say having banana in the morning for magnesium or eating a lot of leafy greens and other things you can specifically tailor to knowing what vitamins are deficient.
- For parents listening you can just google vitamin deficiencies in those with ADHD.
- And starting with the foods is key because your body is able to process the vitamins better from foods. And it’s cheaper than supplements.
- Everyone wants to sell you another supplement and it becomes so expensive that it’s not manageable for most families.
- So if you can learn what food to give your children to have their brain functioning better, that is helpful.
- Sweet potatoes cooked in coconut oil are really great for me.
- So are good fats.
- Meditation is also great. Putting them in physical activity or sport is great too.
- I think there are certain programs in schools called IEP or 504 Plans that are specific to kids with ADHD.
- Therapy is also very helpful.
- There is also neural feedback, which is a new therapy. It can retrain the ADHD brain. I haven’t yet tried it but it’s actually covered by insurance.
- My therapist who I used for EMDR therapy told me about it.
- I’d like to try it to retrain my brain but for now I’ve learned how to manage it.
- But this is really something I think will be really helpful for children because their brain is still very pliable and I think it will be beneficial.
What is neural feedback?
- It’s a therapy that retrains the brain using electromagnetic pulses.
I also spoke with an occupational therapist, Brooke Weinstein, a few episodes ago about ADHD and other sensory development challenges. She said that children are just trying to regulate their body and mind and that’s where the movement comes from. It just makes a lot of sense to find ways for your child to move the energy through. And that may look like a child who is more energetic than the average child. But that might be all the child needs: movement.
- Yes and there are other things about ADHD, for instance, we are deficient or have issues with our dopamine synapses. Movement increases dopamine naturally.
- So it’s very important for us to maintain a movement routine.
- To have specific things we do daily and make sure that movement is incorporated into that routine.
- Also getting outside in nature to increase serotonin and really help to regulate our body is so important. Because we do have trouble with that and we get overwhelmed.
- There are so many stimulants so it’s important for us to really focus on calming the nervous system.
- When I was coming off of adderall and trying to calm the withdrawal symptoms and cleanse the body of trauma, I used the unicorn wellness studio pilates program.
- These are 30 minute reiki infused pilates sessions that are based around the cycles of the moon.
- They cleanse the body of trauma and anxiety. It really helps with getting to the root cause of the ADHD symptoms.
- The root cause of ADHD symptoms is usually taken all the way back to the attachment relationship and trauma from early childhood.
- So getting rid of the trauma in the body can actually help regulate the body as well.
Managing a dysregulated child when you are dysregulated yourself. Can you speak on that a bit?
- Yes. If we are dysregulated and we have a child with ADHD or just in general, I think one of the things that can help is to work on yourself.
- Because everything you do is reflected in the child. What the child sees you doing, they do.
- So self care for the parent I think is of paramount importance because it means that you’re taking care of yourself and the child sees that.
- They need to see that you know you’re important.
- As a new mom I’m making that effort to know I can’t do all of this if I’m not taking care of myself.
- If I don’t wake up a little earlier to meditate, I will lose it.
- Or If I don’t move my body regularly I notice I’m more jerky.
- And I did have a little postpartum depression so that rage and anger I felt, I needed to be able to regulate that.
- So we need to be taking better care of ourselves as moms.
- We can really support emotional development and regulate our child’s bodies and emotions by taking care of ourselves.
I’d love to get into talking about EMDR but I just want to ask you about your experience with Adderall. You mentioned gut health issues, but were there any ways that it did help you?
- I think that it did help me focus. But it didn’t tell me what to focus on.
- So I’d be hyper focused to the point of overwhelm and cleaning my room and closet instead of doing my homework – and I’d be focused.
- So it can help you focus, but it also makes you so focused on negative things about yourself.
- And it can really heighten body image issues.
- Because you aim to be perfect. It personally gave me a fog of who I was. I didn’t really ever know who I was on it and I’m still learning who I am to this day for the first time because I don’t really remember myself before the age of 7.
- And so I think I never got to figure that out or make that choice and learn who I was! I mean I was on it before puberty.
- So it’s very hard to say how it helped me.
- I did a photoshoot for the first time in 2 years recently. I just didn’t know if I could do that without meds.
- But I did the shoot and it went well.
- And yes I was a little less hyper focused but I had a great personality and everyone liked me and I was friendly and there were parts of myself I never got to see before.
- And even though I wasn’t perfect at everything – I was me.
- And I think that that’s so much more important than being a zombie.
- I felt like I was a zombie on that medication and I didn’t know who I was.
- And no one really saw me and I didn’t let anyone in.
- So…I wish that I could recommend it, but I don’t.
- I wish that something was a magic pill to make all of this go away.
- But there isn’t one that’s going to be perfect for ADHD.
- I think there are coping mechanisms and things that we can do.
- And I understand why parents put their kids on these medications. So there is no shame here.
I feel like a lot of it comes down to presence. We live in a world that likes a quick fix. We’re not taught how to be present or how to understand who we are and navigate our way through the world.
- I 100% agree.
- And I think that’s super important to teach our children to be present and feel those feelings.
- Whether they are big or small.
- It’s ok to feel so overwhelmed and it’s normal to be overstimulated.
- And figuring out ways to help them understand and navigate that is something I wished my parents had helped me do.
- But I don’t think they understood how to do that for themselves.
- So I think now today there is so much focus on meditation and other things that really really help the overall home life situation, starting with the parents.
- Maybe you do a 2 minute meditation with your kids. And even if they don’t sit still just do that with them.
- I just think that can be a way to bond and it’s baby steps.
- Even if it’s just I’m going to make sure to drink half my body weight in ounces this week. And then next week I’ll do this.
- Becuase sometimes it is too much, especially if you have (29:12) multiple children and you are a single mom or you don’t have help. You’re like, “Oh yeah you want me to fix my child’s whole diet?”
- That’s overwhelming and I get that. I really do. But I think that it is so important in the long run for the whole family.
So let’s go back to the effect adderall had on your physical body. You mentioned being in the hospital 3 times and having gut health issues. Were you in the hospital because of those gut health issues?
- I went because I was just in so much pain and I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
- I went to so many doctors and they just kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me.
- But I knew there was something wrong with me.
- I couldn’t process food. I was having extreme IBS problems. I was breaking out everywhere. I had SIBO. I had a lot of aching in my joints.
- I just looked sick and my skin was affected.
- I fainted in front of Broadway after a Broadway show.
- So I just didn’t know what was wrong.
- There hasn’t been any case study as long as my story on Adderall.
- So think about the effects of cigarettes. No one knew until they knew.
- And so because no one has really been on it as long as 23 years like I was, there wasn’t really evidence of how much this amphetamine could affect you over time.
- I have a private Facebook group where we all bond over our stories and I help others overcome this.
- I think they all have gut health issues. Extreme problems processing foods post adderall.
- And that’s because it affects your serotonin. And 95% of that is in our gut. And the brain cannot have a conversation with your gut if your serotonin is affected. So our brain isn’t going to work either!
What are the doctors telling parents about how long they should have their child on this drug these days? Do you know?
- I’m not sure. I believe they say to put them on it as long as your child needs it.
- They don’t really say how long you’re supposed to be on it. It’s just here is what you’re supposed to be taking.
- There wasn’t google around when my parents put me on this, so there weren’t really a lot of ways for them to research.
- Now when you Google it, a lot of things will come up with adderall addiction.
- It’s very addictive, even if you’re prescribed it for ADHD, your body becomes physiologically and psychologically addicted to this drug.
- So much so that I woke up and thought I couldn’t do anything without taking that pill. It was in my purse at all times. I needed it to function. I literally couldn’t get out of bed without it.
Let’s talk about your process of getting off it. You decided after the 3rd hospital stay that you wanted to start a family and you wanted to stop. What did that look like?
- First I started weaning. And it was awful. It was like ripping off a bandaid every single time.
- I was angry and tired and physically just like I can’t do this, I don’t know how I’m going to function or get out of bed.
- I didn’t know how I was going to continue this.
- Each time I thought I would get better and wean down again and it would get awful.
- I thought about going to rehab.
- Before I did any of this, I removed myself from the stressors in New York. I moved back to Memphis and I built a cocoon for myself.
- I had a stable support system. And even if you don’t have a stable support system it’s important to join somewhere where you can talk about what’s happening. Something like AA or something similar so that at least you have someone you can talk to.
- Because you’re going to need a support system coming off of this drug.
- Secondly I retreated to nature and started meditating and focusing on movement and healing my body from the inside out.
- And then after that I started weaning but it wasn’t working.
- And as I was weaning I realized that my body was getting more sick because my body had been given dopamine and serotonin and norepinephrine for 23 years.
- And then all of a sudden my body wasn’t getting it. And because again, 95% of the serotonin is in the gut, my body was like I’m not going to process your food anymore. And it got worse.
- So I knew I needed to fix my food and get rid of the addiction somehow.
- I called many addiction centers but they wouldn’t take me because I was prescribed the drug. And you’re not an addict if you’re prescribed the drug.
- I told them, “But I’m an addict! I can’t stop taking this. I need help!” and they wouldn’t take me. And insurance wouldn’t cover that.
- I knew I needed bigger help than just talk therapy. I needed something that was going to fix it in my brain.
- So I started googling cognitive behavioral therapy addiction therapists. I found this amazing person – Herb Cohen – in Huntington, NY. He does EMDR and hypnotherapy.
- I called him and said I don’t know what to do. Can you get me off of adderall?
- And he said I can get you off of adderall in one session.
- And I thought, “No way you can do that.”
- So I went to his office. He said first you can target the addiction memory using EMDR therapy. We targeted the addiction memory using these sensors and bilateral stimulation to target the addiction memory located in the back of the amygdala.
- And the only way to get there and to change the memory is to use hypnotherapy or EMDR therapy because they use bilateral therapy.
- And you can either use EMDR either with eye movement or sensors in the palms of your hands using the acupressure points.
- There needs to be some sort of bilateral situation to stimulate the memory and help change it.
Can you walk us through the experience?
- So set me down and gave me these sensors and told me to get into the feeling of being high on adderall.
- So I started thinking of all the times that I’ve felt the most high. It was usually when I was working out, or when I was slaying on a photo shoot or any of those extreme moments where I felt like I could accomplish anything.
- And I would participate in risky behaviors – things you wouldn’t normally do.
- So all these memories came up. And then he said once you’re in the memory, let me know.
- And I said ok, I’m in the memory.
- And he turned on the sensors and they started buzzing in my hands.
- And then all of a sudden my memories flooded with every single time I used adderall. Every single time since I was little. They flooded in.
- And he told me to tell him when the memory stopped.
- And eventually they stopped and he turned off the sensors.
- And he said we’re done. A
- He said you need more therapy later to get rid of the root cause of the addiction, which is trauma.
- But to get rid of the actual addiction memory can be done in one session.
- So I went home that night and told my husband, “He says that I’m cured.We’ll see tomorrow.”
- I woke up the next day and I didn’t want my pills.
- Not to say that I didn’t have withdrawal symptoms.
- But that constant “I need this to be able to function” was gone.
- He uses this therapy on heroin addicts, cocaine addicts, meth addicts.
- And that’s what I really want people to know: you don’t have to walk by a bar and want to have a drink again. You can actually get rid of that addiction in one session of EMDR therapy!
- And for me it was like, “I need to change the part of my brain that needs this.” And I knew I would be able to overcome the withdrawal symptoms.
- I just didn’t want to want it anymore. The addiction was the worst part. And it was gone in one session.
Is all EMDR created equal?
- I don’t believe it is. I think the practitioner does matter.
- I think a lot of people are very good at it but some people don’t know they can use it to get rid of the addiction memory.
- So it’s important to really research your practitioner.
You mentioned withdrawal symptoms. You mentioned being tired. What were some of the other symptoms?
- Feeling like I couldn’t do as many things as I was before.
- Depression. Anxiety. Gut health issues, which I mentioned.
- Because you’re coming off of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin that your body has been used to for 23 years.
- It can take up to a year or even 18 months to recalibrate your body.
Aside from the addiction memories, you said you went and worked with the traumas. You mentioned something about the mother wound and the lack of proper attachment or attunement relationship in early childhood. Can you discuss that a bit more?
- Yes. I’ve read a lot about Dr. Gerber Mate. He wrote the book called Scattered and it’s an amazing guide for those parenting anyone with ADHD.
- It’s for anyone trying to understand what ADHD is.
- He talks a lot about attachment and attunement and how that forms as early as the first 6 months of your life.
- My mother was going through a very stressful time when I was born – it was traumatic – and I was a baby born into it.
- And because of her anxiety and her stress – no matter how happy you are and excited you are about being a mother – these stresses are still perceived by the child.
- They still can pick up on every slight little thing and disassociate from your body.
- And you’re still-facing your child. There is an experiment he talks about how a baby will normally cry if you stop smiling at the baby. But if you still-face the baby and the baby doesn’t start crying it means they are used to that and it’s because you’ve been disassociating or not being present ,and therefore the proper attachment relationship for attunement hasn’t formed.
- And because of that, there is trauma.
- So all trauma is created equal. It can be as bad as horrible or your parents divorced when you were 1. It could be that your parent all of a sudden had another child that needed special needs and you’re not being taken care of as much because of that. It can be a lot of different things.
- And because of these little traumas, the proper attachment attunement relationship doesn’t happen. And that’s associated with ADHD.
Obviously you can’t go back and change the past. So how do you heal that? How do you begin to integrate having a proper formation or create it where it wasn’t there?
- Hypnotherapy and EMDR therapy and going back and changing the memory of the trauma.
- So you go back into that memory or that anxiety or whatever it is that you’re working on and you target it just like the addiction memory.
- And all of those memories will flood back in and you’re able to change it. You can incorporate a new situation where it happened differently.
- You’re separating yourself from that experience and you’re seeing it outside of yourself instead of feeling like you’re experiencing it all over again.
- You can look at it and be like I experienced that but I’m not feeling the pain of it.
On the other side of adderall, how did you rebuild your gut? And what do you do now to manage ADHD instead of reaching for adderall?
- I started out thinking maybe I didn’t have ADHD.
- But I definitely have it. It’s definitely a thing.
- And I understand a lot more about it now.
- And little things I thought were weird about me I realize now were just symptoms of ADHD. And that’s been beneficial.
- For parents – it’s important that your child get a diagnosis because it helps them understand themselves and makes them feel like it’s not their fault.
- Because that in itself – not about medication but just getting a diagnosis so they can understand themselves better.
- For me learning that I did have ADHD and what that was and that my whole life I thought I was just weird was the first step that happened when I was coming off the meds.
- And with the gut health, I used Tandy’s gut reset that she wrote because she had a lot of issues with gut and thyroid and celiac and it was her story of overcoming those things that led me to the reset.
- I met her at a fitness event in Brooklyn and she handed me this book after I told her what was going on with me.
- She said, “Just read this. I promise you this will help you.”
- At that point I was laying in the bathroom crying for hours in pain. I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
- So I used her tools as my tools to get through this issue with my gut.
- And a lot of things that helped me in her reset were learning about bone broth, probiotics and how to really reset my system.
And then from an emotional standpoint – what are some of the tools you use now? You mentioned meditation and pilates. What are some others?
- Weight training. And then I got on nature walks. Journaling.
- I use a calendar and I write things down because I think I remember them better that way.
- And I also have a daily planner where I have no more than 5 things on the list.
- I have one big to-do list and then I have many lists for each day.
- And I cross them off as a reward system.
- And that’s important to not overwhelm the brain by telling yourself you’re going to do 20 things in one day. Because you’re not going to get them done and then you feel bad about yourself when you don’t.
- So if you get more than those 5 things done then you’ve accomplished so much.
- Routine is important for me. Every single day I have the exact same routine and that way I don’t forget things.
- Because I have built it into my system and so then I know the play by play of the things I need to do and I don’t forget them.
- Movement every morning is key. It could be dancing. Whatever it is for you.
- The food is huge. I do a weekly batch cooking so I don’t have to cook at all during the week.
- I have a 4 month old and I don’t have time to cook during the week because I’m writing my book and I have clients and photoshoots. So doing that and having fresh foods available to me that I can easily grab makes my life so much easier.
- And I feel so many different things I do that are little that make a big difference but I feel like food and movement are the biggest ones.
How about in an acute situation like doing the photo shoot for the first time? In those moments, are there any techniques you have when you’re feeling anxiety? Or when you had postpartum depression. Are there any in the moment techniques you use to help you?
- There are breathing techniques that you can do and many meditations that I do. They really help with that.
- And also on set I make sure that I over prepare for things. I do it in advance so that I don’t overstress. I leave early. I do specific things daily so I don’t have to do everything all at once.
- It’s taken years to learn how to do that, to be able to plan and think ahead but it makes things so much easier.
- And I also had nourishing foods on set. I made sure to have sweet potatoes because they help my brain function better, and coconut water. I brought it all with me.
- It’s just so much easier for me to function when I’m nursing my body the right way.
- The other thing I want to mention is the biggest fear for a lot of people coming off of adderall is weight gain.
- Because many people have body dysmorphia issues with ADHD. It coincides.
- And most every single person I’ve talked to and interviewed, weight gain was their biggest fear.
- Doing the reset helped me not gain any weight because I fixed my food first.
- And it’s not about weight gain – it’s about fixing your food so you feel better.
- But that’s a big issue. Your metabolism changes a lot post adderall and there are some people who gained 60-70 pounds.
- So if you reset your food first and reset your metabolism and you treat your body this way, I guarantee you those fears aren’t warranted and they are also driven by the adderall. It makes them worse and it’s like a cycle.
Before I let you go, you mentioned that your son has cystic fibrosis. How is he doing?
- He’s doing really well.
- At this time it’s really about helping him stay healthy.
- We have to give him enzymes before every meal. Cystic Fibrosis affects the lungs and digestive system so we do chest compressions twice a day to get the mucus out.
- Eventually he’ll have a chest vest to help get rid of the mucus.
- There is a magic drug that’s available for 12 year olds and hopefully for 2 year olds soon.
- My cousin actually has Cystic Fibrosis and is doing phenomenal on it.
- But it’s very hard to get used to at first and it’s a lot of daily effort on my and my husband’s end.
Audrey Stimpson is an internationally published master photographer by trade who has now made it her sole mission to share her story of Adderall addiction and how she freed herself after 23 years.
Audrey grew up in Memphis, TN— the home of the blues. She received her Bachelors in Photography from The University of Memphis and Masters in Fashion Photography from The School of Visual Arts in Manhattan. As a fashion photographer working in the elite fashion and modeling industry of NYC for 8 years, she had the privilege of shooting for top brands and major publications like Vogue, Elle, Forbes, and Robb Report to name a few. In 2018, she co-founded Madison and Melrose, an A-Z digital marketing/branding company that specializes in content creation. She has a growing platform of over 23k followers, the majority based in NYC and the MidSouth.
Audrey had been prescribed Adderall to treat her ADHD since the age of seven, the same year the drug first entered the market, making her one of the longest case studies.
For a while, Adderall made her feel invincible. From the photoshoot straight to the after-party, Audrey was using Adderall to Slay! But, after 23 years of use the amphetamine had taken its toll, leading to psychosis, gut health issues, body dysmorphia, Addorexia, and a never-ending cycle of shame.
After decades of Adderall dependency, Audrey is finally #Adderallfree and thriving! She wants the millions of others affected by ADHD and Adderall addiction to know that it is possible to live without their little orange pill.
She is currently writing the guidebook that she wished she’d had, developing an ADHD coaching program, and she recently launched a blog dedicated to helping those directly affected by Adderall addiction. She is also addressing real fears in real time on TikTok, the preferred social media for those with ADHD, reaching upwards of 80,000 people per post.
With 3.5 million children currently prescribed Adderall and more than 42% of people aged 12 and over abusing the drug without a prescription, it is clearly one of the most pressing issues of our time.
Audrey is dedicated to sharing her story and helping others navigate their Adderall addiction journey with her How-To-Thrive-Off-Adderall guidebook, Accidental ADDict.